This post on taboo was inspired by the beautiful “Sweet Taboo” heart of Autumn Skye.
Taboo originally came from the Polynesian peoples as the word “Tabu” which has been described as “A sacred order to protect our health, to protect our life and to protect our elders and their ancient wisdom.”
James Cook created the word taboo and brought it back to the English language to describe practices that are either forbidden or restricted by social or religious customs.
Seems to me that the essence of TABU was lost at sea, and instead became a word used by the patriarchy as a means to control, manipulate and punish people for being human… particularly women.
Women vs patriarchy (i.e., religion)
Taboo written all over that!
Being a woman is as much a taboo today as when celebrating the Mother goddess was annihilated for being “savage,” and the wise women witches were burned for being “satanic.”
Notice the themes that fall under taboo… many of them related to themes of women, the goddess, the feminine—her body, her cycles, her ways of being.
There are of course many various taboos from around the world that are cultural in practices, and yet it has been being a woman in all of her bounteousness that our western world has tried to hide, deny and destroy (still prevalent and very much alive today).
Taboos include:
Mother Nature
Maiden—Mother ~ Crone
Women—our bodies, sexuality, birth abortion, rites of passage, sex trade
Addictions—as a holistic issue—lack of connection and belonging (not a biological issue)
Sexuality—in all ways
Birth, dying, death
Grief + Rage
Menstruation and menopause
Truly living—from the heart—your own path, in your sovereignty, in the way of the feminine
… and currently Speaking up against The woke culture as a woman (without being labeled cis~gender woman, or a “birthing person.”
Every culture holds things that are taboo. From customs around foods that can be eaten, to handshakes and face to face interactions, to the darker themes of abuse, addiction, and all things involving sex, to name a few.
I don’t know about you, but I feel that in these current times we are in, that I can’t say anything in fear of being misunderstood, insensitive, politically in correct, or being non-inclusive… of not being polite, considerate or of potentially offending another. That in speaking candidly and authentically against certain “cultures” may result in punishment or retaliation.
This is the way of taboo.
It makes people uncomfortable.
Which in its darker aspects (of our culture and society) can lead to a need for control and power over.
Instead of identifying its true source (from a holistic perspective) having the difficult conversations, acknowledging it (as part of the individual, societal and collective shadow, and finding ways to heal; we choose to deny, repress, ignore, and punish—to sweep it under the metaphoric “rug” and not make it our problem.
However, there cannot be light without the dark. As with all shadows—what our society has deemed as being forbidden, prohibited, and unacceptable still resides within each of us as an aspect of our humanness, and will find its way to surface and come to “light.” If not tended to in a loving way, will express as the evil we’ve named it.
Each of us carries (to some degree) aspects of all these taboos—the wounds, desires, “negative” emotions, the inconceivable, and incomprehensible—and when ignored, denied, repressed, or shunned becomes rampant and out of control throughout the collective.
If and when we choose to deny these aspects on the outside—in our culture, society, community, family and elsewhere—the more prevalent they become, so that we have no option but to see it, to have it in slammed in our faces and rammed down our throats.
If we continue to see ourselves separate and cannot accept that what we and others see, feel, hear, believe and value is the same as our shared humanity—it will continue to dominate until we do.
Accept All. Reject None.
The moment we accept our shared humanity in all of its expressions—trusting that each of us plays a part, a role, and a frequency in the expression of our humanity (some just not as polite, loving, acceptable and respected as others), the sooner we as individuals, communities, and as a collective will exist in social equilibrium.
Each of us the microcosm expressing an aspect of the macrocosm and vice versa.
As above, So below
As within, So without.
Like our shadows—when we repress or deny that these distortions exist—we create more space and energy for these “forbidden acts” to happen. Thus, we continue to repress and deny more of ourselves, and unable to express the authentic wholeness of who we truly are.
Acknowledging that we carry aspects of the taboo on our own can feel shameful and daunting—and we may seek alternative ways to avoid those parts of ourselves which can either lead to living a more “taboo” lifestyle, or it can take us to the opposite end of the spectrum where we become rigid, regimented, self righteous or pious as a way to escape and repress the totality of our humanness.
When we can gently acknowledge that we too have bitten, chewed, savoured and gorged on the forbidden fruits (of taboo) and we feel safe and supported in sharing our “secrets” and ancestral baggage with others, we invite in authentic connections, deeper intimacy, and wholehearted belonging with our self and others.
When we acknowledge and share these aspects of ourselves, we see that they exist within everyone.
When we can tend and honor these aspects in ourselves, it becomes easier to honor these aspects in others.
In our shared humanness, we can release shame and allow other repressed pieces of ourselves to surface and be welcomed—knowing that we are not alone in our wounds, desires, thoughts and feelings.
We begin to transform our shadows into gifts of coherence of heart and mind, and attune to the pulse and harmonization of our sacred relationship with our Self and all life.
What I have written and shared above has been my own journey and experience of meeting these hidden aspects of myself.
The very first time I shared what is known to be one of the most inconceivable “taboo” and unspoken acts was when I was 16 years old, had recently shared my “secret” with my family and was now involved with children’s aid, the police, therapists and a court case.
I wanted to do my presentation for the class as a project on sexual abuse, so that others would know they were not alone.
My teacher at the time shut down the idea that I do this project and share with the class. At that moment I felt of the shame, guilt, and feelings that come with abuse come rushing back.
However, shortly after, I was sitting with some female peers at a table and we were chatting about our childhood (the good, the bad and the ugly).
I opened up and shared my “story.” Some of the girls went quiet, others were surprised—all of them gave me their full attention and listened.
I felt heard, seen and witnessed in the voicing of my secret.
I was also creating a safe and non/judgmental space for others, opening the flood gates for others to share theirs if needed.
I learned very quickly that I was not alone in my childhood experiences, and this was profound healing for me (and more therapeutic than talking to my therapist!).
Since then, I have had numerous opportunities to support others as they embrace their “dark side.”
This takes us into the shamanic realms of shadow work.
I continue to create and offer space for others as they welcome in all aspects of their being, journey to their darkest places to reclaim the rejected and forgotten pieces; and return to wholeness in the totality of being human.
We are not meant to be alone in our suffering (or in our joy!)
This is an invitation for you to come as you are—uncensored, and given full permission to share the taboo—the secrets and stories that live inside of you.
As we share, we show others they are not alone.
Let’s bring these shadows to Light.
Join me in sanctuary as we feast on the forbidden fruit, sharing all that is taboo, and savouring the co-creation of a sacred and harmonious order to honour our health, our life, and the ancient wisdom of women before us.